Beauty: What's On The Inside

raising confident daughters insolence + wine

Since seeing the beautiful Em Ford's video last month and I've been in quite the mood ever since. As women, we shouldn’t be judging others based on our looks. A woman should be looked up to because of her intelligence, her success (assuming she’s not spreading her legs to get to the top of the corporate ladder), who she is as a person, etc. We’ve become a society solely based on appearance.


For mothers out there, do you tell your daughter’s she’s beautiful? Smart? Kind? Do you tell her you’re proud of who she is becoming as a person? Do you tell her that her dress is pretty? That her shoes are ugly? Or maybe she needs to brush her hair because she looks a mess. What do you want your daughter to think of herself? That she’s smart and can do anything or that she’s pretty and can sleep with anyone she wants?

We should be teaching our daughter's to love themselves with or without $400 worth of crap painted on her face. Girls should be growing up believing they can become the next CEO of a Fortune 500 company. Instead, they seem to have it in their minds that without their face caked in makeup they’re never going to find anyone to notice them, to love them, to one day marry them.

Last week, while I was in my local Sephora picking up another bottle of Caudalie’s Beauty Elixir, I overheard an exchange between a mother and her daughter while waiting in the check-out line. The daughter was maybe 6 or 7, and the mother was probably in her late 20’s, complete with the tired look some mothers have on their faces for about 18 years. 

“Mom, why are you buying that?”

The mother looked at what she had in her basket and picked up the new highlighter from Becca x Jaclyn Hill and asked her daughter if that was what she was referring to.

“Yeah,” she replied. “You’re not going to look like that.”

A few seconds later, the little girl continued. “I watch her videos with aunt so-and-so and she’s prettier than you are. You don’t do your makeup right or your face is messed up.”

I’m pretty sure my jaw hit the floor. The mother was beautiful without a hint of makeup. Sure, she had dark circles around her eyes and her roots could have used a touch up, but the truth was, she didn’t need makeup. If her husband is anything like mine, he probably prefers her without makeup. Yet her daughter (and I’m guessing thousands of other little girls her age) think all of that junk on your face makes you beautiful.

Take this recent video of Jaclyn’s . If you were to go out an purchase everything she has on her face, it would set you back $358 before tax and without the cost of brushes or other tools.

Let’s stop and think about this for a minute. $358 for one look. I’m sure there are some products she uses regularly, but imagine you’re a 14-year old girl with low self-esteem. Without that $358 worth of products, she thinks she’s ugly because she can’t look like that.

 How much does your “everyday makeup routine” cost? Mine comes in at a whopping $194 and truth be told, I don’t even use all of those products half the time. And of those products, I use them for almost any occasion. Those products are not just my “day time” products; they’re my everyday, every night products. Yet in magazines, Facebook ads, Instagram, YouTube recommendations, the image of perfection is everywhere. What is perfection? Is it having a perfect face of makeup? Perhaps it’s living in a home that resembles a model home or Pottery Barn catalog. Or is it living up to your potential making an impact on the world?

By the way, the rude little girl in Sephora? Her mother politely put her basket down on the counter, visibly upset and dragged her daughter out of the store. There’s nothing scarier than the silent fury of an angry, hurt mother.

Disclaimer: I am not attacking Jaclyn Hill or any other beauty “guru” for earning an income doing what they are passionate about. I’m happy there are young, inspired women out there that are paving the way for other girls to make a living doing what they love. I'd be happier knowing young girls are learning that beauty is not all about appearance.